Perception
Emotions - experience people and things through feelings about them
Character Strengths
Compassionate, sensitive, warm
Traits
Ability to create a harmonious atmosphere, easily connect with people, good at building and maintaining relationships. Genuinely care about other people, would rather give than take. Usually skilled communicators.
Typical Words and Phrases
- "I feel..."
- "I'm glad to see you"
- "I care about you"
- Happy, sad, love, understand, take to heart, sense (words that express feelings)
- Touch, embrace, scent, mood, atmosphere, ambience (words that appeal to the senses)
How to communicate with a Harmoniser (Base):
- Nurturative Channel: inviting the other person to feel cared for. Empathy, support, acknowledgement of the other person.
- Tone: soft, gentle, soothing, caring, warm
Harmoniser's attitude: I enjoy our relationship when we exchange feelings
How to do it - examples:
- "Thank you for coming. I'm glad you're here."
- "I remember the lovely music and soft colours used in that movie."
- "I'm so sad to hear about your loss."
Part to use when addressing a Harmoniser:
Comforter: warm, nurturing - addressing the other person's emotions
Non-verbal signals:
Warm, gentle, accepting and smiling expression. Relaxed and open posture, extending forward with palms up.
Interaction / Environment:
Create team situations in which they feel comfortable. Using their good communication skills, they get everyone else involved by encouraging and supporting them.
How to motivate a Harmoniser (Phase):
- Recognition of person: accept the person just the way they are, without conditions or strings or performance required
- Sensory: sensory stimulation (smells, sounds, tastes, sights, touches) are not just pleasant physical phenomena, but a psychological battery charge
Interaction / Environment:
Create team situations where they feel comfortable. Using their good communication skills, they get everyone else involved by encouraging and supporting them.
Examples of Harmoniser motivators:
- Building and maintaining relationships with family, friends and workmates
- Feeling appreciated as a person
- Photos of loved ones / plants and flowers
- Bringing people together, using their communication skills
- Making home/office comfortable, adding a personal touch
- Being pampered, taken care of (massages, hot baths, lovely meal, etc.)
- Enjoying the beauties of nature
Driver:
I have to please you to be worthwhile
When you see/hear a Harmoniser:
- overadapting, behaving indecisively
- showing submissive body language
- using nondescript words like "maybe/kinda/you know"
Typical phrase:
- "Oh, could you maybe, sort of, say that again?"
Use NURTURATIVE Channel and FEELINGS:
- "We're so lucky to have you on our team."
- "I appreciate your help with this difficult team situation."
- "You're such a lovely person; I appreciate your feelings."
Mask:
Drooper: I'm not OK, you're OK
When you see/hear a Harmoniser Drooper mask:
- making 'silly mistakes'
- showing a lack of assertiveness/self-doubt and thus inviting criticism
- acting like a victim, putting self down
Typical phrase:
- "Oh, it must be all my fault. I know it, I know it's me."
Feed the need for RECOGNITION OF PERSON and SENSORY:
- (Husband to wife) "You are very important to me. I love you."
- "Everybody on this team cares about you."
- "It's OK to be sad. I'm here for you."
Perception
Thoughts - interact with environment by collecting and analysing data, drawing logical conclusions and evaluating the consequences
Character Strengths
Responsible, logical, organised.
Traits
Ability to think logically, categorising data and information. Causal problem solvers, good at planning projects and structuring time. Task oriented, self-motivators, take responsibility seriously.
Typical Words and Phrases
- "I think..."
- "What are the facts/options?"
- "What's the reference for that?"
- "The data suggests..."
- What, when, who, where?
- Information, numbering, data, enumerations, time, date, numbers, lots of questions
How to communicate with a Thinker (Base):
- Requestive Channel: exchange of clear, crisp information or question/answer
- Tone: monotonic, emotionless
Thinker's attitude: Would you discuss my plans and ideas with me?
How to do it - examples:
- "There are three efficient ways to approach this problem."
- "When was the last management meeting?"
- "The fee is based on overall usage this month."
Part to use when addressing a Thinker:
Computer: requesting, fact finding to process information and synthesise ideas
Non-verbal signals:
Expressionless, erect posture, few gestures
Interaction / Environment:
Create one-on-one situations where they can focus on a task. Allow for democratic group processes, which encourage goal-oriented decision-making.
How to motivate a Thinker (Phase):
- Recognition of work: acknowledge quality of hard work and achievements
- Time structure: be on time, have a plan/agenda/discussion items, give goals and time frames
Interaction / Environment:
Create one-on-one situations where they can focus on a task. Allow for democratic group processes, which encourage goal-oriented decision-making.
Examples of Thinker motivators:
- Prioritising tasks and recognising accomplishments
- Making agendas for meetings
- Setting goals and time frames, making 'To do' lists
- Discussing ideas with others
- Being on time
- Playing sports where they can enjoy achieving, like golf
- Structure time to work and to be with family and friends
Driver:
I have to be perfect to be worthwhile
When you see/hear a Thinker:
- not delegating well ("I'll do it myself")
- thinking for others, taking on too much responsibility
- making complicated, overqualified statements
- showing pressured, rigid body language
- using fillers: "to me, personally.../that is to say.../what I mean is..."
Typical phrase:
- "I think, personally speaking, that this task - which, by the way, the boss assigned to me - is more of a challenge, relatively speaking..."
Use REQUESTIVE Channel and THOUGHTS:
- "What are the top priorities for this project?"
- "Can you explain your ideas about the project's time line?"
- "What do you think would be the most logical course of action?"
Mask:
Attacker: I'm OK, you're not OK
When you see/hear a Thinker Attacker mask:
- becoming frustratedly angry about fairness, money, order or responsibility
- being critical of others for not thinking clearly, short tempered
- verbally attacking from a 'you' position
Typical phrase:
- "You are so stupid! Why don't you ever use your brain? Do I have to do everything myself?"
Feed the need for RECOGNITION OF WORK and TIME STRUCTURE:
- "Thank you for pointing that out. What other options do you think are relevant for me to consider?"
- "I appreciate all the hard work you've put into this project."
- "Your project plan is impeccable as usual. Can you present it in our next meeting?"
Perception
Opinions - evaluate people and things through their belief system
Character Strengths
Dedicated, conscientious, observant
Traits
Ability to give opinions and judgments ('How does life fit in with my values?'). They are loyal, committed and need to trust. Mission minded.
Typical Words and Phrases
- "What value do you see in this?"
- "In my opinion..."
- "I believe we should..."
- "It's important...that we..."
- Respect, admiration, commitment, dedication, observation, tradition
How to communicate with a Persister (Base):
- Requestive Channel: exchange of clear, crisp information or question/answer
- Tone: monotonic, emotionless
Persister's attitude: Would you talk to me about my values and opinions?
How to do it - examples:
- "In your opinion what is the best solution?"
- "Do you believe this valuation is appropriate?"
- "I trust you."
Part to use when addressing a Persister:
Computer: requesting, fact finding to support value system
Non-verbal signals:
Expressionless, erect posture, few gestures
Interaction / Environment:
Create one-on-one situations where they can focus on a task. Allow for democratic group processes, which encourage goal-oriented decision-making.
How to motivate a Persister (Phase):
- Recognition of work: acknowledge hard work and commitment
- Conviction: respect their beliefs, opinions or missions
Interaction / Environment:
Create one-on-one situations where they can focus on a task at hand. Allow for democratic group processes, which encourage goal-oriented decision-making.
Examples of Persister motivators:
- Prioritising tasks and reaffirming value of accomplishments
- Making agendas for meetings
- Asking for their opinion in a meeting
- Rewards for dedicated service
- Being active in political/church/volunteer groups
- Being a role model for children and in the community
- Write letter to the editor/business article about some important issue
Driver:
You have to be perfect for me
When you see/hear a Persister:
- focussing on what's wrong instead of what's right
- asking complicated questions
- using big words, over qualifying, over detailing in a question
- with a stern, probing expression/piercing eyes
Typical phrase:
- "What exactly is the problem around here?"
Use REQUESTIVE Channel and OPINIONS:
- "Very important point. What is your opinion on this problem?"
- "What do you believe we should do?"
- "Can you tell me your priorities?"
Mask:
Attacker: I'm OK, you're not OK
When you see/hear a Persister Attacker mask:
- crusading, being opinionated, showing righteous anger
- verbally attacking others who don't believe the same / are not committed enough
- becoming suspicious, developing conspiracy theories
Typical phrase:
- "If you're not with me, you're against me."
Feed the need for RECOGNITION OF WORK and CONVICTION:
- "I respect your point of view/opinion and I can see you have worked hard on this project."
- "Your contribution is invaluable to the organisation."
- "I appreciate you bringing this up. Your opinion is important to me."
Perception
- Reflection. Externally motivated into action by clear directions
Character Strengths
- Imaginative, reflective, calm
Traits
- Ability to be introspective, visionary and imaginative. Respond to directions. Comfortable spending time alone. Skilled working with their hands.
Typical Words and Phrases
- "Need to reflect..."
- "Need my own space..."
How to communicate with an Imaginer (Base):
- Directive Channel: give clear, unambiguous direction plus time frame
- Tone: firm, non-critical
Imaginer's attitude: If you tell me what to do, I'll do it
How to do it - examples:
- "Please have this report ready by 5 o'clock."
- "Reflect on it and tell me what you've come up with at 9 o'clock tomorrow in my office."
- "Write down three possible options before lunch."
Part used by Imaginers:
Computer: outside inputs inspire thoughts and trigger the imaginative process
Part to use when addressing an Imaginer:
Director: they wait for external stimuli in the form of directions (without talking down)
Non-verbal signals:
Smooth face, expressionless, erect posture, few gestures
Interaction / Environment:
Give clear, concise directions. Then leave them alone to absorb the information and execute the task.
How to motivate an Imaginer (Phase):
- Solitude: give privacy and seclusion
Interaction / Environment:
Give clear, concise directions. Then leave them alone to absorb the information and execute the task.
Examples of Imaginer motivators:
- 'Alone time' to be undisturbed (several times a day for a short period of time)
- Reading (book, magazine, etc.)
- Having their lunch break alone
- Long walks alone
- Solitary activities like gardening or handicrafts
- Meditating
- Turning phones off, shutting doors
Driver:
I have to be strong for you
When you see/hear Imaginers:
- starting to withdraw
- spreading themselves too thin
Typical phrase:
- "It hurts", "It came to me"
Use DIRECTIVE Channel and INACTION/REFLECTION:
- "Take five minutes to reflect on this problem and then tell me your solution."
- "Have this procedure completed in half an hour. Thanks."
- "Please tell me how you imagine the situation can be resolved."
Mask:
Drooper. I'm not OK, you're OK.
When you see/hear an Imaginer Drooper mask:
- showing sustained withdrawal
- pulling away
- behaving like a victim
- starting but not completing tasks
- not asking for help
Feed the need for SOLITUDE and give DIRECTION:
- "Take your lunch, go outside and come back at 1 o'clock."
- "Go home, work on your project on your own and send me daily progress reports."
- "Redirect your phone for the next hour to my number."
Perception
- Reactions - respond to people and situations with likes and dislikes
Character Strengths
- Creative, spontaneous, playful
Traits
- Ability to live in, and enjoy, the present. Humorous, witty (without teasing), outspoken. Good at lateral thinking, creative problem solving. Learn by doing.
Typical Words and Phrases
- "That's great/fantastic/boring/horrible!" (authentic positive and negative emotions)
- "That's yummy/gross!" (likes and dislikes)
- "I love this/I hate that!"
- "I want to do it."
- "Wow/cool/awesome" (slang, fun phrases)
How to communicate with a Rebel (Base):
- Emotive Channel: offer an energising, spontaneous, non-teasing exchange to create fun and a non-threatening atmosphere
- Tone: energetic, enthusiastic, playful
Rebel's attitude: Let's have some fun together!
How to do it - examples:
- "Check out this new calculation thingy. It's absolutely fantastic!"
- "Phew! I hate being stuck inside when the weather is so great!"
- "You already got the new iPhone??? Shut the front door!"
Part to use when addressing a Rebel:
Emoter: playful, spontaneous child part to enjoy a jaunty conversation
Non-verbal signals:
Vibrant, energetic, twinkly, open expression. Relaxed, fluid, loose, elastic posture with animated gestures.
Interaction / Environment:
Use an upbeat, nondirective style and allow them to explore their own potential. Let them interact with many different people; they are motivated by external inputs and creative exchanges.
How to motivate a Rebel (Phase):
- Contact: frequent interactions with others, like to be around animating, lively, fun people and things
- Fun: enjoy humour and stimulating environments (lights, loud music, games, gadgets, etc.)
Interaction / Environment:
Use a non-directive style and allow them to explore their own potential. Let them interact with many different people; they are motivated by external inputs and creative exchanges.
Examples of Rebel motivators:
- Getting in contact with new, fun people
- Having creative, non-repetitive projects
- Using breaks/lunch to have some fun with workmates
- Kinaesthetic activities: play an instrument, team sports, dancing, horse riding
- Learning new things by doing them
- Having fun, enjoying life
Driver:
I have to try hard to be worthwhile.
When you see/hear a Rebel:
- delegating inappropriately and without direction
- trying hard to understand, but can't (inviting others to act or think for them)
- showing agonised, pained or strained body language
- using words of avoidance like "huh?/I can't/I don't know"
- not answering questions
Use EMOTIVE Channel and REACTIONS:
- "Whoa, don't shoot the messenger!"
- "Far out! I know exactly what you mean!"
- "Aw shucks, this stinks!"
Mask:
Blamer: I'm OK, you're not OK
When you see/hear a Rebel Blamer mask:
- being negative and complaining ('Yes, but...')
- blaming others but being blameless
- being vengeful - you're supposed to make me feel good and you didn't, therefore I'll make you feel worse
Typical phrase:
- "It wasn't me," or "If it weren't for this stupid traffic, I wouldn't be late."
Feed the need for CONTACT and FUN:
- "Oh well, life's a bitch and then you die"
- "Let's get our bums on that plane and have some fun with the on-board games."
- Non-verbal communication like smiles, winks, comical expressions, pats or highfive, (non-teasing) laughs or grunts, etc.